Hello, friends and family!! One question that has been bouncing around our walls lately has been from Charlene who is asking about having her own phone. She’s nine years old and, naturally, some of her friends have phones. It is not surprising that she wants her own phone. If I was her age and in her position, I would want and ask for the same thing. For the most part, my answers for why she does not yet have her own phone revolve around age, cost, and necessity. Her typical follow up question is, “If not now, then when?”
Lately though, I have come to view the topic from a different perspective. I no longer think it is only a matter of when, but also what steps we should consider taking in the meantime. The phone is a tool and, like any tool, can be weaponized if not used properly. When gun owners take their kids shooting, they don’t just hand over the loaded firearms when their kids are a certain age. Rather, they train them and teach them how to handle such powerful machines before they ever place a finger over the trigger. Similarly, making food in the kitchen can be a wonderful experience for a child to get into; but only after knowing the hazards associated with stove tops, ovens, and blades. Phones can be great when it comes to education, entertainment, and essential contacts. However, so many hazards exist that a nine year old cannot fully be aware of: cyberbullying, sexual predators, the dark web, etc. If we could all take a step back and start with awareness and common responses to these common hazards, long before our kids have phones of their own, then it could aid in treating phone issues whenever the day comes that our kids are entrusted with these dynamic and life changing devices. In fact, there should also be an ongoing discussion between young phone owners and their parents about causes and effects that are constantly evolving.
While Chau & I agree that it is currently too early for our daughters to have their own phones, we do acknowledge some of the benefits and I think it is safe to say that they will probably both own phones sooner than we think. The capabilities and applications of today’s phones did not exist when we were their age so there is no way to replicate what our parents did for us. It is not like driving, where everyone waits until a certain age and there is no debate until then. The culture of kids having their own phones is something so new that the common household is still trying to grasp how to best tackle the situation. It would behoove us parents to accept this new reality and equip our children to thrive within it.
Fatherhood and Marriage 